Transgender world news and blog by Scott Newgent. Mr. Newgent explains the transgender phenomenon with inside knowledge having fully medically transitioned.
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Graham Linehan UK Producer & Transgender Activist Scott Newgent - Interview
The interview that is changing the way we look at the phenomenon of medically transitioning children. I've been following Scott on Twitter for a while now and I recognised, in his urgency and alarm, a similar soul. Scott wants to protect kids and to get across to them and their well-meaning parents the dangers of medical transitioning, but Twitter's character limit and random reach is not ideally suited to the purpose. My depressing blog is probably not much better, but I thought at least it would allow him a few more characters with which to lay out his concerns. I'm hugely grateful to him for agreeing to this interview. GL: For people who might not be familiar with your Twitter, can you talk a little bit about who you are? SN: Sure. I am a 47-year-old transgender man. I was 41 when I began the process to transition from a woman to a man, and it has begun to concern me greatly that kids as young as my three children are now being encouraged to transition. Six years have passed since my procedure. I wish I’d known then what I know now. I can tell you that the information out there regarding transition is heavily weighted to one side, and people must have factual information to make decisions regarding the transition process. During the process of medical transition, I have had seven surgeries, one massive pulmonary embolism, one helicopter life-flight ride, an emergency ambulance ride, induced stress heart attack, sepsis, 17-month recurring infection due to using the wrong skin during a phalloplasty, 16 rounds of antibiotics, three weeks of daily IV antibiotics, lost all my hair, arm reconstructive surgery, handicapped arm, permanent lung, and heart damage, my bladder was cut, I had insomnia induced hallucinations, frequently loss of consciousness due to pain from the 6 inches of hair on the inside of my urethra, significant PTSD that made me a prisoner in my apartment for a year not able, failed phalloplasty, billed $923,980 for medical expenses, I lost my home, car, job, career, wife, and I could no longer care for my kids due to medical complications. At my lowest point, I joined twitter and met the person who started the 4th Wave, a feminist site helping parents of transgender-identifying children. I started writing comments, attacking them for being bigots, and then I started to read what they were saying, and they were right; every fucking word Marie wrote was the truth. Marie, the head of the organization, reached out to me, and she contacted me every day, helping me, she even funded my rent when I was about to be evicted. She asked for nothing, didn't challenge my decision to transition; she just saw the pain and what had happened to me and listened. She saved my life, literally. You see, medical transitioning is brutal on the mind, body and soul, even if you remove all the complications I have had. We are not talking about this, and we need to. We have well-intentioned parents walking these kids to a gender treatment center and they don’t understand that medical transitioning is experimental. It kills me when people ridicule those who point this out. There is nothing funny about it; it is experimental. For 17 months, I couldn't get a urologist to help me. Every time, it was the inevitable, "Sorry, Mr. Newgent, I don't feel comfortable taking you on as a patient, the phalloplasty, and for that matter, all transgender health, is experimental. Could you go back to the original surgeon?" The only choice I was given was to go back to the original surgeon that hurt me. It wasn't until my infection became life-threatening that I received help. I went to 8 different attorneys about that surgeon. Each one wanted to take my case, but after they investigated, they found out there is no baseline for care. We have nothing to compare outcomes for medical transition, so it's a free-for-all, and the medical industry knows this. They stand behind LGBT people chanting "Transgender lives matter," Well, of COURSE they fucking do, so how about we try and supply them with qualified medical professionals? My surgeon had 9 medical malpractice cases that never went to trial in California. I was unaware of that or I would have never allowed him to conduct surgery on me. Nine, Graham. Not one or two or even three….nine in a span of a couple of years. So, he changes his business name, moves to Texas, and starts over with a new name and no one is any the wiser. This is where the LGBT needs to be picketing; in front of the offices of surgeons like Dr. Curtis Crane around the world, demanding excellent medical care. You see, transgender health is the gravitative new revenue channel that is drawing in the horrible surgeons and physicians and mental health professionals. You can be dangerously terrible at what you do, jump into this arena, and you have a line of people wanting to see you, you have LGBT organisations protecting you from lawsuits and politicians that don't have the guts to stand up and say this is wrong. The current medical care for transgender health is experimental, and the bottom of the bottom, I mean, the medical professionals that swim in sewage are the ones making a fortune. This is bigotry at its finest. Bigotry is not asking questions and demanding answers. Butchering transgender people, making a fortune and not caring is bigotry. GL: What is your greatest concern at the moment? I feel like I know this from your twitter feed but I just want to get your words on it. SN: Children, children are my main concern. About ten months ago my daughter made a joke, "I'm probably trans because I don't like female puberty." I jumped up out of my chair like a jack-in-the-box and said, "What in the hell has you saying that?" She allowed me to see the website she was on, and it was telling her all the reasons why she was transgender. I flipped. We had a good heart-to-heart, and the conversation was over. She is not transgender by any stretch of the imagination. Since I had front-line knowledge of the process, I was able to disarm her, investigate, throw that notion to the ground and move on. That night though, I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I thought of these kids. Their parents, fathers, mothers, all desperate to do the right thing, but having no idea of the reality of transitioning. So, I sat down and began investigating. The knowledge of the process mixed in with being a parent made me quite a force, and it didn't take me long to see that this is a new revenue channel in the oldest industry in the world. The effects of puberty blockers are *not* reversible. They market it that way, but you have to read between the lines. Unfortunately, when the letters LGBT are involved, people are quick to lend ‘support’ without investigating the facts, and that, quite frankly, is dangerous. The facts are that Lupron is not FDA approved to treat children with gender dysphoria. I believe the reason they are not pursuing FDA approval is that it will let the cat out of the bag, and an immediate stop order would ensue, preventing Lupron being administered to gender-confused children. The human body has a timeline, an internal clock that starts different developments during childhood. When our DNA is structured, that timeline is created and our bodies will attempt to adhere to that. DNA from our parents and ancestors is ingrained, and it is not a question on how tall we are going to be, it is a question of when and how our bodies will get there. If you remove a period of time within that timetable by blocking signals, it will result in you not getting where you were intended to be. You are never going to get that time back, so, to use height again as an example, you’ll forever be shorter than what was written in your DNA. And of course that's just the beginning. Lupron affects cognitive maturation, it reduces bone density and there's a long list of common, nasty side effects. Essentially what the drugs do is they put young girls through an artificial menopause. Parents need to know the truth rather than a clever marketing scheme that obscures it. We are giving children of the world this drug during a crucial time of brain development… bone strength is developing, critical thinking…. I mean I could go on and on. So, what does that mean for the future of these kids? We are using a generation of children as guinea pigs to tell us what will happen to an XY biological boy who takes the opposite birth sex hormone for life. What happens to a male's body on estrogen over the long term? Again, we don’t know. Doesn't that scare you? It should. It is not transphobic to ask these questions. It is not transphobic to state the truth and demand honest answers regarding the health of our children. I have a transgender friend in London who began to transition in ‘83. She’s now in her early 60s, disabled, is unable to walk, living in unrelenting pain. Her quality of life is not good, pain levels off the map. She had surgery on her spine in ‘76 to treat an abscess, but over the years she has developed Degenerative Disc Disease, a separate issue that has been accelerating at an alarming rate. Her physicians think that it may be due to the transition all those years ago. She was 26 years old when her life changed, & at 62 she is a physical wreck. We have to stop being delusional as a society; men cannot become biological women, and women can not become biological males. What we can do is create an illusion that makes some able to walk with more comfort in this life, and that's something to be celebrated. Reality is not hateful; living outside of reality is a mental illness. We need to address this the same way we should with everything, with kindness. Unfortunately, I believe the leading activists pushing the trans agenda are mentally ill and need help. The transgender community needs new leadership, plain and simple. Parents need to know that the only long-term study on medically transitioned people was a Swedish one following 324 people for 30 years. The fact is that suicidal ideation among the group surpassed the levels they felt pre-transition. Plainly...suicide is more common with medically transitioned people than transgender people that have not medically transitioned. But, if you read the gobbledygook, it will tell you that starting to medically transition a gender-confused 12-year old will halt suicidal ideation. Of course it does. At first. We’ve all experienced the present opened on Christmas morning and the obsession with it, and then two months later, it’s in the trash, and a new passion emerges. Are we all blind to the natural progression of childhood? Two weeks ago, I was made aware of a 19-year old transwoman who had committed suicide. This young transwoman completed medical transitioning and realized what she had done to her body meant she was never going to have children, and she took her own life. This shook me, because I made a prediction that this was coming. What I didn’t know was how soon it was going to start. When a transition is over, it forces you to look into the mirror and analyze the positives and the negatives, and it's not all puppies and rainbows. Problems that were eliminated by medical transition are replaced with different issues, and more often than not, medically transitioning is too high a price to pay. GL: How has this situation arisen, do you think? SN: Graham, it’s not difficult to connect the dots here, but it’s stuff people don’t want to face. A study was done in a small section of the world that had 97 children on Lupron for medical transition. The revenue generated was a little over 2 million. Fast forward just a couple of years and that same area has jumped to a little over 4000 kids. The revenue jumped from 2 million to over 100 million, now multiply that by the world’s population. This is about money. I often say that we have the perfect storm in terms of what we are doing to children, and in any other period of time, this would have never become a dangerous epidemic. The LGBT has become a force within the community, and they should be, deserve to be, but it has silenced other voices that need to be heard as well. What do we know about this generation of parents that are dealing with the transgender phenomenon? What is the most significant factor in history that these parents experienced? Think about it; the 28-45-year-old parents are the ones that were children when gay and lesbian people were fighting for rights. We all remember the horrible coming-out stories, the beatings, the venom that was spat by fundamentalist Christians. These parents today, the ones who are medically transitioning their kids, if we met them as children what would we see? We would see these parents huddle with their childhood friends swearing that if their child were ever gay, they would never do what they were seeing parents doing to homosexual children. These parents are being tricked into believing this is about rights and bigotry and it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with the oldest industry in the world, the medical field, discovering a new billion dollar industry. Sometimes I imagine what my life had been like had I never transitioned. I imagine talking to my daughter as “Kellie,” the lesbian mother, and that story plays out very differently. When people ask me why I care so much about medically transitioning children, it takes me back to the day when my daughter made that joke about being transgender. The fact is that if I had not transitioned, I would have been one of the first parents to race my child to the gender clinic. I would probably be an activist hating the exact person I am today, and it's a heavy burden, knowing that. My intense passion is to inform the person I would have been if I had never transitioned. What do you think about the influence of social media on the spike in young girls experiencing dysphoria? Really? Are you sure you want me to answer this? Ok, it is going to piss off a lot of people making a lot of money. I believe that social media is being used by huge corporations to influence homosexual youth to medically transition and, they are fucking marketing geniuses at it. They not only are affecting these kids they are influencing ignorant adults who believe this is about rights to stand up for and push children to medically transition. I can see people in a hundred years time saying, “How in the fuck did that happen.” The truth here Graham is the number of those people that benefit from medical transitioning is minimal because, as I say, you swap problems, and the challenges you get are often more significant than the ones you left. Our baby homosexuals, as I call them, our precious butch girls and femme boys are being sucked in, and they are hearing that something is wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with a butch lesbian; in fact, they are like Gods in the gay community, I mean women fall at their feet, nothing sexier than a confident, beautiful butch woman. Femme boys are cherished in the community as well, but outside the community, these two types of homosexuals are not revered, and growing up, they are isolated and left to feel something is wrong with them. We need to give these baby butch girls and femme boys time to experience the gay community and to understand how much they are loved. People on the outside of the community need to tell these baby homosexuals that they are needed and loved as well. Until we do this, the trans agenda is going to suck a ton of these baby homosexuals into their revenue channel. You see, this is about bigotry, but not the way it is played out in the media. The prejudice is what these baby homosexuals are feeling. Very few people are stereotypical males or females, and we have to stop telling our children than men and women come only one way. The majority of people don’t fit, and that’s ok, that’s life, and that’s the way the world is. We HAVE to tell our baby homosexuals that WE LOVE YOU AND NEED YOU! So let me be the first; "To all the baby butch girls and fem boys, I love you, and I need you, we all do; just the way you are, I can't wait to see all the wonderful things you accomplish with your unique lives."
What makes a person transgender is elusive to us at this point, but this is my story and why I transitioned and, how I went from feeling like a Lesbian Devil To a Straight Man Saint. I don't believe Jesus Christ was the son of God, but that doesn't make me a version of their evil. I don't think children should be anywhere near surgery or hormones; I don't care how transgender they believe they are. I believe the LGBT community has bitch-slapped the entire world into being scared of anyone with opposing views to speak up. But, I understand the cause, the pain, and the generation after generation of misery that gays and lesbians have been put through. I believe people are born gay, but I also think some are conditioned into same-sex attractions. I might have been manipulated to change my sex by an extremely religious Catholic woman that could not accept her sexuality, but that doesn't mean genuine transgender people are not walking among us. There is no transgender cult, and the people that are spewing that are making themselves look crazy, and they are causing more damage. If they knew that kind of insane talk actually makes things worse. You see, I have always been able to reach both sides; I was blessed with the ability to see both sides of situations. But, I didn't understand that inside of an organization, a belief, a person you hate is common ground and someone beautiful, and someone scared and someone that has something useful to say. I didn't understand the gravity of this until I transitioned. Before I transitioned, I imagined I was known as the Lesbian Devil to Lynette's Catholic Family. They wanted to do an intervention on a woman that finally understood why she never felt the love she saw her friends experience. Until me, she just went through the motions with her husband, hating her life and feeling numb only to come alive with that first sip of wine. She laughed and giggled and seemed like the happiest person, but once you got to know her, she was a sad person. Such a depressed person, a woman that looked like the sunshine of light, was the darkest human being I had ever met. I listened to her phone calls with her family spewing hate, begging her to be cleansed and get rid of her demons, manipulating her with the thought of spending an eternity in hell for loving me. I can say that I hated those people, Lynette's people, with every fiber of my being. I just knew that they understood the torment they were causing for her and didn't care. I was convinced they only wanted the perfectly straight, beautiful Catholic woman to go back to a husband she didn't love, never loved, they didn't care that she was miserable, they didn't care that she couldn't breathe without me. They cared only for getting her back into a box that made them feel comfortable. I transitioned to take that all away for her. I never met Lynette's family as a woman. I met them for the first time as Scott; Lesbian Devil to Straight Man Saint. I was so scared to meet them for the first time, and all I kept hearing was the torment I heard when Lynette was talking to them, and I wanted to hate them, I wanted to hate every last one of them and, I just knew I would. But something happened. My far reach to see both sides became vastly wider. I loved them, each one of them, I loved and still do. I watched them with their children, and I learned about their lives and experiences and the belief system they had, I began to understand why they felt the way they did. The experiences they had mixed in with the blessing of being born normal became who they were. They couldn't understand what Lynette was feeling; how could they. I loved them, and I still do, and I miss them, but I went from Lesbian Devil to Straight Man Saint to just something they laugh at while eating dinner, the weirdo transgender person; or at least that is what I think they say, maybe I made their reach a bit wider as well. Perhaps one of them is going to have an LGBT child, and I saved that child. I remember the night like it just happened. I remember the feeling, the desperation. I wanted to save her from what she went through the years prior when she was trying to break free from the hold that her former life had on her. I wanted to save her from her soon to be ex-husband's phone calls that lasted for hours and hours pounding and pounding her with terror about how it was going to feel on her flesh when Satan burned her into a never-ending pit of fire. I wanted to save her from looking at me and being so in love but conflicted with the voices in her head. I never in my life experienced someone that was told over and over repeatedly that he was not loved like a wife should love a husband and that she loved another and wanted another, but he refused to let go. It was cruel. Some in her family thought of it as a devoted Catholic man, but from the inside looking out, it was selfish and mean, he was breaking her down, and he knew it. He didn't care; he wanted her back; she filled a spot in his life that gave him comfort. He refused to lose, and he was willing to do what it took, even if the cost was ripping her limb from limb. He was going to do what he had to do to get what he wanted. Lynette would start conversations with her husband on the phone standing, shoulders back, and ready to take on the challenge. Within 15 minutes, her body would wither into a ball in the corner of a room, and the confident woman resembled a child being browbeaten; it was awful to watch. The dynamic was as if I was watching a child being scolded by her Dad. Lynette didn't speak; she just listened, nodded, and agreed with passive shrieks of acceptance. Lynette wasn't even able to talk, she just cowered and weathered the storm until Mark felt like his point was made and his opinion was accepted as the only truth. It was a strange relationship she had with her ex-husband; it wasn't normal; it resembled the movie "The Truman Show." All the streets landscaped, the clothes pressed, but something was missing, and Truman knew that just as Lynette did. Lynette had questioned her ex-husband's sexuality before they married but tossed it aside. He fit, he fit all the things she was told to look for in a man. They were not in love, and they had never been, and you don't miss what you never knew you had. So, the years went on, and Lynette continued to question his sexuality and found his characteristics off but never pushed because to discover someone on an intimate level, you must have the ability to be intimate. Intimacy was absent, always was with their marriage. One morning as I was lying in bed, Lynette leaned over and rested her head on my chest. She looked at me, and I noticed how calm and at peace she was, loving me. Her eyes, her brown eyes, I have never understood how a simple color like brown could make eyes dance as she could with hers. As her breathing began to rhythm into sleep, something hit me. SHE CAN'T DO IT! These words crossed my eyes, and I jumped out of bed. It was at that moment that I knew that I had to leave her. I knew at that moment, Lynette would not be able to live an authentic life with me; she didn't have it in her and her husband and family were never going to let her live in peace. Staying with her was not the right thing to do for her, me, or her husband, for that matter. I did my best and left the apartment. I tried to remain strong, but the texts from Lynette with pictures of hearts, or her intoxicating body would lure me to her bed. As she was packing to go back to her husband, she was seducing me, while going to marriage classes at night, she was making love to me during the day. It was at this time I lost it, I couldn't take the lies, the deceit, everything was too much. I have never understood how Lynette could lie to everyone and it never got to her, for me it was something that broke me. I packed my family and moved 1000 miles away. I wanted Lynette, Lynette wanted me, but I knew it was never going to happen and I didn't want to put her through what I saw her husband doing. My intentions were good, but the reality was nothing how I wanted to act. It had been two years since we ended our affair, and she went back to her husband. I was a mess in those two years. I would go from crying from missing her to insanely pissed off that she went back because I told her to. I knew deep down that no matter how much she loved me, how much she needed me, how much she wanted me, she was never going to be able to be authentic. I didn't want to torture her the same way, but differently than her husband and family had. Authenticity has never been something Lynette has been able to achieve. Finely crafted lies to keep the nicely decorated life she created was a full-time job for her, and she was obsessed, and I have never been one to live unauthentic. Back then I was angry at Lynette for not breaking out of the box everyone had built for her. With new eyes I understand she did what she was able to do and, it didn't matter how much she loved me, she didn't have to tools to live life with the white light of transparency. In the two years that we were apart, I survived, not well, but I survived. Every two to three months, Lynette would contact me and profess her love and tell me she was ready, and she was going to tell her husband and family she was a lesbian, and she was coming to me. The next day she would disappear; it was one of, if not the most painful times in my life. This all made me feel crazy. I would send texts obsessively asking is she was ok, concerned that something might have happened to her. Then her number would change, and I'd get a call from her best friend telling me she was going back to her husband, and they just left for some tropical vacation. When she would do that to me, it felt abusive, cold, and it conditioned me to expect it. We were like children sneaking out of our house at night, and our parents would find us ground us from speaking to each other. I think back on this with a different mind, and I understand how cold this was for Lynette to do. She couldn't handle being with me, but she didn't want to lose me. Lynette cruelty was in the highest form, and I believe one of it, not the most significant reason our marriage didn't work. I was insanely angry with her, but I never expressed it, I swallowed it. Lynette lead the dance, and both Mark and I followed, she was and has always been the single factor to all this pain. This got so bad that anytime Lynette would reach out to me, I would tell her husband. Of course, he didn't believe me, but I have never lied to Mark. I have been the only one who has never lied to him. Some days I would open a bottle of wine just to finish it and wake up the next morning horrified with emails I would write to her husband about how awful he was. They were disgusting; no one deserves the words I would say to him. Somethings people just don't need to know, even if they are the truth. I didn't understand what he was going through; I didn't allow myself to see what Lynette and I were putting him through. He was fighting his truth; our truth was blind to him, and his was to us. Funny how that works when passion, anger, betrayal, love, hate, longing, and confusion get smashed together in one bite you must swallow. Somewhere in my heart, I knew what Lynette was doing was wrong. She wanted me but didn't want anyone to know and was so focused on what others thought of her; she ripped apart two people and one that she professed to be heaven-sent to her. Ya me, crazy, huh? After two years she came back to me, she finally left her husband, and I could tell something was different. This entire fiasco weighed heavily on us all, and her husband was pushed further than anyone should be, but we all were in different ways. He finally pushed back one night after too much to drink, and Lynette's face was where he lost it. He had never been physical with her before, but it was all too much. Her husband could tell she didn't want to be with him, she was there out of obligation, familiarity, to please her family, to fit in, to enjoy the more beautiful things money could buy. But not because she was in love with him. When Lynette went back to Mark, he tried with all he had to bring passion to their marriage. He read all the right books, made all the right reservation, attempted all the right positions in life emotionally and physically, but the passion was never there. That is the crazy thing about the passionate side of love; you can't will it. A couple either has it, or they do not. When she came back to me after that night, we both were exhausted. We just wanted to love each other, that's all. I had spent my whole life being judged as a lesbian, criticized, understanding that the first conversations with strangers that I wanted to get to know would eventually lead to the, "So, when did you know you were a lesbian." I was exhausted, Lynette was exhausted. Love can only take so much; love cannot conquer all; we are the proof. The night, the night I decided to transition was a decision that was made soon into our reunion. That night, I call it the night, because it was the night that changed everything, everything changed. I was watching TV, and I heard Lynette talking with her son. Her son was getting married, and they were pregnant and expecting Lynette's first grandchild. Everyone was so excited; I could see it on Lynette's face when she would talk to anyone about the baby. Suddenly, the laughter stopped, and silence began. I yelled up the stairs "Lynette, is everything ok." No response, my face twinged with confusion, and I made my way to her. When I turned the corner to the bedroom, I saw her. Her face had lost all color and turned grey. I ran to her and grabbed her hands, and looked at her directly in the eyes, and she said "What if they won't let me see my grandbaby." My heart sank. I could not allow that to happen. That was the night I decided to transition, for her, for her children, for her family. I loved her that much. What I do know about this entire experience is that we were all at fault. I should have walked away eight to nine years ago and never let this start. Lynette should have faced her demons instead of emotionally ripping two people apart. Mark should have allowed Lynette to leave him in peace; she was not a possession that completed his perfectly decorated home. No one did the right thing, and I'm left with looking into the mirror every day, not knowing whose's reflection I am looking at. If I was to sit down with Mark and talk to him, I bet I would understand that he is left with scars that he didn't deserve as well. Very few people in this world are evil; I am not one, Mark is not one, and Lynette is not one. I am remorseful for many reasons; I did many things wrong, and they have eaten at me since the beginning. I was never able to express these to Lynette because through the whole process; it was always about her. Saving her, ensuring her lies were kept, I agreed to things like marriage counseling and camps understanding her and Mark were just attending so she could prove to him they were not in love and not meant for each other. I agreed to the dates she would go on with Mark when we were living together to prove to him they were not good together. I had to sit in the apartment and wait for her to get back from these dates that Mark would plan to win her back. Mark didn't know it was all a ploy; it was cruel. This was awful to do someone, and I agreed to it, and it ate and ate at me and still does to this day. The lies and deception and the amount I had to swallow to be with her were too much. It's a strange feeling looking at someone you love and wanting to scream at the top of your lungs, "Why did you do this to us, me and Mark? WHY!" Things I remember haunt me. The time I told her to go back to Mark initially and calling her to see when I could pick my stuff up from the apartment, and she giggled, "When we get another place, I am going to put up the pictures; you put too many holes in the walls." I wish at the time I could have told her, "Lynette, that's cruel, do you know that?" Do you know that you just want to keep me with you just enough so that you don't lose me? Telling me constantly that you know that God wants us together, and that's why you see so many hearts, and you send me those pictures. Do you know that's cruel? That's cruel to me, and that's cruel to Mark. Do you know it's cruel to Mark going back to him to prove to him that you guys aren't good together? Do you know that's cruel and wrong? It's cruel to tell me that you can't be in a relationship with a woman, but you can't be without me. Do you know these things, the cruelty?" Looking back, I can see that Mark and I were played like a fiddle, both of us. The center point of the cruelty started with Lynette. The further I get away, the more remorse I feel and the tremendous sense of regret I have. The sorrow and remorse dial point the most to, Mark. Mark had no idea what was happening, and Lynette was not strong enough to be honest, if she was just honest from the beginning with herself, she would have never married Mark. Mark was a backup plan and always has been for Lynette, and the cruelty of that alone is astronomical. Lynette wasted almost 10 years of my life, and she wasted even more of Mark's life by not being honest. Mark will always be Lynette's back up plan; he has the finances and experience she desires and as cruel as it is to say it; it's the truth. In all of this, I pray for Marks' happiness. However, it is that he finds it. Sure, he wasn't perfect who is, but he was blindsided, lied too, manipulated, and used. I hope Mark figures out who he is and what it takes for him to be happy, and I hope he finds it. If Mark were in front of me today, I would say one thing and one thing alone, "I am sorry." To Lynette: I would say I forgive you; I hope you find whatever you need to be happy in this life, but please be honest, it's the only way anyone ever finds peace. You might be surprised with how people you love will react. Give your family and children the opportunity to know who you are because they deserve the real Lynette. You have to stop lying to people to create a false reality, in the end all it does it hurt people. In conclusion, I tell this story to help people understand that transgenderism has become reverse bigotry to gays and lesbians. Although I have decided not to de-transition and I do have some points in a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, it doesn't stop the fact that my decision to transition was due to homophobia. It took the LGBT community 30 years to earn the trust from the society that we were not after their kids, that we did not want to turn anyone homosexual; we just wanted the same rights as others. Currently, homosexual children are being targeted by powerful pharmaceutical corporations and, vast revenue channels are being created to medically transition our homosexual youth. Being homosexual does not = being gender dysphoric. As far as you believe we have come with homophobia, we still have that far to go to get it right. We cannot allow our children to transition because we refuse to accept homosexuality. We are in a crazy time; if you step back from what we are doing to kids with understanding it's not about rights, it's about backward rights. As a parent and as someone who has medically transitioned, I am trying to warn you. Gender Dysphoria is real, and some benefit from medical transitioning, but not many and not enough for this new medical revenue channel they have created with your children. We have to give kids time to grow up and understand who and what they are. We DO NOT want homosexual children medically transitioning because of homophobia. I read a quote on twitter recently that made me think; "If I knew everyone's story, I would love and understand everyone." I am the same as others, and I judge, and each day I have to sit back and re-align myself to understand this compelling quote. Scott/Kellie
Parent Up-Transgender & A Parent of 3-Medically Transitioning Is No Place For A Child - Here's Why!
adjective: marginalized; adjective: marginalised 1. (of a person, group, or concept) treated as insignificant or peripheral. "members of marginalized cultural groups" mar·gin·al·ize /ˈmärjənəˌlīz/ I use this word quite often; it has a familiar feel for me, like how some might feel about the word home. I use the word "Marginalized" without negative connotation; I am, in fact, grateful for being marginalized. Now, it has taken 47 years for me to feel like this, but this is the general feeling I have about being marginalized my entire life. If you fit in whatever part of the time you live, you are not forced to view life differently, and simple pleasures are just that, simple pleasures. For marginalized people, we are left pondering; why? Why do I not fit, and why do others? Why am I considered less than, and people instantly consider me less than until they get to know me? Why do people need to know my mind, thoughts, and perception, and what I stand for before I am given the respect that others get without a word said? Now I said I am grateful I am marginalized, and that is the truth, but I did not always feel this way. Parents that have never been forced into marginalization don't understand what an incredibly hard life it can be. Being transgender is not only forcing your child into a world of being less than you are forcing them into the 1 part of society that is marginalized, hated, and consider the biggest LESS THAN community in the world. It's not puppies and rainbows; I can guarantee you that. "Oh look, yup, she/he is transgender. I can tell, can you? It's the voice you can always tell with the voice!" If you love a marginalized person, they matter, to you, others, not so much. Have you ever noticed that people that are homophobic, racist, or any other form of hate are staunch within their belief system until it touches their family? Parents that are medically transitioning their children, I believe, believe they are doing their children a favor, accepting them early and aggressively. Anyone that disagrees is just bigots. When it comes to the love we have for children, it distorts our reasoning and decision making, and it's evident as a medically transitioned man. Something to ponder; as a parent of a trans-identifying child. I say identifying because the odds are against them being transgender and in need of medical transition. When you decide to transition a child medically, you are signing, sealing, and delivering them to a life locked into being marginalized, locked into the medical system, and locked into a life of being the ultimate "Guessing Game to everyone, but their family." Think about that; you love your children, but 99.99% of society doesn't care about them …and just an FYI – Neither do these medical professionals that are pushing you, in the end; it's about money, don't question that. You are handing them off to adulthood with medical issues, being marginalized, and being the world's guessing game without any proof that (A) medical transitioning is safe (B) that it fixes anything. We have not been transitioning people like we are now for a long enough period to have any validating documentation. Look at the studies the medical industry is giving you, 1-3 years analyzing something as dramatic as swapping dominant hormones on wrong defined chromosomes is serious business people. You are stamping on their forehead, "Transgender," and to you, they matter, but to others, they don't. Another guessing game you are playing is if they are resilient enough to have a positive effect from being marginalized. Some of the most significant people that lived were marginalized, but what about the rest? How many did not have the resilience to benefit from this angle of seeing the world this way? You are guessing that they have enough resilience to not only survive but to prosper. You are not saving them from anything I guarantee you that. Are your children strong enough to be turned into adulthood with medical issues for life, being marginalized, being the world's new guessing game? You don't know, and it's irresponsible to think you do. The puppies and rainbows of transitioning have to outweigh the other side of transitioning; shall we say the other side is like being dragged by a truck from a noose around your neck. Which one wins in the end, puppies and rainbows or neck noose drags from behind a truck? That's right; you don't know because you are not in their head, and you have no idea how they will deal with being marginalized and the difficulties that come along with it. Parents you are guessing on which side will weigh more, puppies and rainbows or neck nooses, and you are allowing entities that have enormous financial gain to manipulate you to throw the dice. Make no mistake; you are throwing the dice on your children's life without any real, long term studies on experimental procedures. You don't believe me, look up medical malpractice cases for transgender surgeons or physicians. You won't find any because they do not have guidelines for transgender health care, and they love it this way. One scenario it benefits. "Yes, mam, totally safe, and if you don't transition your kids, they will commit suicide." Another scenario that I lived personally, "Aw, sorry, Mr. Newgent, terribly sorry you are sick for the rest of your life, but transgender health doesn't have a baseline for care, nothing to compare it to, it's experimental, I didn't know that. To take your case we would have to hire physicians and scientist to conduct studies and it would cost millions of millions of dollars. Again, sorry, but it's not financially feasible." I'm not trying to squash anything; I'm trying to save your children. How do you know what side weighs better for your child? How much resilience do they have multiplied and divide by puppies and rainbows with being dragged behind trucks with nooses? Ummm, at what point is the benefit, oh that's right we don't fucking know. But what we do know is that transgender youth have a significant amount of mental illness. If dosing these kids with massive amounts of hormones that induce psychological war isn't enough, we are guessing on their resilience of being marginalized for life and if it will benefit them or cause them to blow their heads off. Now, tie this neatly in a bow, including medical issues for life, being the pun of the "Guessing game people all love," having to prove their worth from the ground up from every person they ever meet for their entire life. So, maybe just maybe taking kids with mental illness issues and pouring on being marginalized along with mind altering hormones and medical problems might not be the RIGHT thing to do. Take a second to think of all the things your kids were convinced about five years ago, Santa; Mutant Ninja Turtles were real, kind of makes you feel stupid if you ponder the idea that an 11 – 12 -13 -14 -15 -16 knows who they will want to be at 25, I can guarantee they don't know so what makes you think these medical professionals do after talking with your kids for a couple of hours. They don't know yet, let them grow into this decision as an adult. Because in the end this is a decision that needs to be made by an adult about their own life. No one has the right to push this life even if their kids are convinced it's the right thing to do. Parent up – Kinda like a man up – Time to parent up. Parents you don’t have the right to make this decision for your children.
South Dakota Bill 1057 - The Vulnerable Child Protection Act It's hard to comprehend what is happening to our children with a sense of clarity. Currently, if you discuss medical transitioning our youth, you will get wide-eyed stairs as the person you are speaking to tries to figure out if you are on their side. If you are arms open wide and you are accepted, if you disagree, be prepared for death threats and slanderous terms that most of us left on the playground at eleven. What I find this most intriguing is that these debates are happening outside of the transgender community. A few radicals that are trying to convince the world that biology is wrong and males taking estrogen have now begun to miraculously have monthly periods with penises either still dangling or surgically inverted to look like a vagina. I know it sounds crazy reading it this way, but these radical trans are convincing people of this. But, for the most part, these debates are happening in the exact way the debate occurred with the South Dakota Bill 1057, "The vulnerable children act," to protect children from medical harm. These debates are happening without input from adults who understand the medical transitioning process because they have completed it. Why is everyone an expert, EXCEPT the adults that have done the process. When a marginalized group of people out themselves to save your children, it's best to pay attention. You had 101 at this debate South Dakota Senators I was an expert witness on the SD Bill, one of many expert witnesses on both sides. Both sides had physicians, psychiatrists, religious figures, and many many more leading to a total of around a one hundred if we combine both sides. Among all these witnesses, there was only one that was a medically transitioned transgender adult, and that was me, Scott Newgent. I listened to hours and hours of testimony as people projected the outcome if we continued to transition our youth medically or denied it. Don't you find it strange that among these expert witnesses, there was only one that had done what these two sides were fighting about? Think about that, just one, me. Why is that? Fred Deutch was the South Dakota politician that was dragged through the media as an incompetent, right-wing, LGBT hating republican. This same man that left his family housebound as police cars were driving by hourly to ensure their safety due to multiple death threats. The media painted Fred in the exact way they needed to, to ensure no one listened to him and invalidated his stance and bill. But the truth is that Fred publicly denounced an Anti-LGBT bill in his house and met and sat with transgender adolescents to try and understand this phenomenon. We discussed starting an organization to help these transgender youth to either prepare for medical transition as adults or help them understand their feelings and decipher if it was just a phase; but in a loving environment. Wow, now that is bigotry at its finest, right? Fred is not a bigot, not in the least, but the state of the world now can hang that on any person, and people automatically believe it. "Bigot, oh him, damn I didn't know, glad you pointed that out to me I was about to be kind to that person," As they pull out their verbal serrated knife and begin to slash vocal cords with intense grunting until completion. During these eight months, I worked with Fred; we both had eye-opening experiences. Fred was shocked by the treatment I received, from folks on the panel and in public. I explained to Fred from the beginning why more transgender adults didn't come forward, but I don't believe he understood until he followed me on twitter or the emails that I received. He also was shocked by the hate that I dealt with from the TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY & the RIGHT-WING CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. I was a punching bag for both sides, but I was used to this treatment. Fred, on the other hand, was not. Fred expressed to me that he now understood why more transgender adults that are against medically transitioning adults stay silent and do not come forward and express their views. Having the opinion that children should not medically be transitioning doesn't mean that the Gods drop a neck chain from the sky that you must wear at all times, so others know you are from the "BAD SIDE." It's common sense to not be for children medically transitioning. If you break up the debate, without emotion or the billion-dollar company, "Lupron," paying for the most exceptional marketing can buy you will decide that, "Medical Transitioning Is No Place For A Child." So why is it happening? One word is the reason we are medically transitioning kids, and that word is "Suicide." The last debate for the South Dakota Bill, a gentleman gave testimony as an organizational head that handled suicides in South Dakota. He spoke about how this bill would cause a never-ending sea of suicides. In fact, holding back tears he said something to the effect of; "If you Senators pass this bill, you will be responsible for these kids when they commit suicide, and I will demand that you attend at least one funeral carrying the casket." He went on to make it sound like trans kids were offing themselves daily, and this bill would just add to the thousands that are happening every day, but he, like most that are for medically transitioning children, let their emotions take over. The truth is that not one, not one child, not one do you understand what I am saying, not one transgender identifying child committed suicide in South Dakota in 2019 because their parents would not allow them to start medical transitioning. But if you listened to the testimony, it would have scared the hell out of you. Therefore we are medically transitioning children, emotions, emotions that are not based on reality. Suicides happen, yes, and that is terrible. Still, we cannot turn children out medically transitioned because we "MIGHT" have a child in South Dakota commit suicide because they are unable to transition in childhood. Logically we are herding these kids up and walking them into these clinics because someone "MIGHT"--- hasn't happened yet, but it could some child might commit suicide if we don't allow thousands of kids to rip apart the health of their bodies. Isn't that nuts? We need to challenge these dramatic speeches; we need to interrupt them and stand up and say, "Sir, you are FULL OF SHIT." Let me be the first, "Sir, you are FULL OF SHIT." In South Dakota, bill 1057 was not passed because we have spineless, incompetent, afraid, mailable politicians who got caught up in the emotion. Aren't politicians supposed to be able to separate fact from fiction? So, is it that these politicians are that impressionable, or are they being bought? It's one or the other because NO ONE that sifts through the facts would allow children to me medically transitioned. I told these Senators, the ONLY medically transitioned person, the only person that has done and been through what we are allowing these kids to do. I told them that the other 100 medically transgender adults that signed my petition and I are AGAINST medically transitioning these kids. I said to date this transition has cost me and my insurance just under 1 million dollars, I explained about the complications, the deemed criminal enterprise that is pushing these hormone blockers, I explained that the explanation of transitioning and the actuality are vastly different. It's no place emotionally for a child. I told them that no one understands the process, and listening to someone explain why it's ok to medically transition that has a financial benefit is a lazy yet dangerous road to go down. Yet, they listened to the liar that had tears welling up in his eyes about suicides THAT NEVER HAPPENED; they listened to the doctors that said, "Yup, it's safe." They didn't connect the dots that the studies they are referring to were 1-3 year studies not enough time to understand the outcome has gone by, they listened to the invisible "Suicide," clause that does not exist. Senators, you are supposed to be the cream of the crop, people we turn to when things need to be decided in our society, and I have to say, "I'm not impressed." If you can't handle a little bad publicity in the beginning to save kids you need to step down or better yet, man my email or death threats because all of you need to get some guts and if it offends you to bad – Get in line I seem to be creating quite a mountain offending violations, but at least at the end of this I can stand at the top on a mountain and shout for the world to hear, "I told you." Mark my words on valentines day 2020 Scott Newgent said, when these kids we are medically transitioning hit about 25 and they realize it was a childhood phase that all of us go through when they know they are now in the wrong body, they take meds for blood clotting issues, heart meds, HRT weekly for life, anti-anxiety for the new issue of the little voice that will never leave, "Did they know I was trans," vitamin D shots for early-onset osteoporosis, when they connect the mental issues with the brain development that they jumped over due to hormone blockers when they understand that they are like the animal at the zoo, "Oh, look, kids, that's a transwoman, crazy, huh." When they want to settle down, and the dating pool is slashed by 90% and cut again because they cannot have biological children. As this goes through their minds, they have a little sense of comfort because the diapers they are wearing for life due to all too often botched bottom surgery eliminates them having to get up to pee and gives them an extra 45 seconds to contemplate life as they pick up the 45 caliber gun on their coffee table. As they start to relieve themselves in their diapers, they lift the 45 and pull the trigger, and brain matter explodes onto the wall, and their body falls over limp onto the coffee table. Instantly, doors bang open to investigate the gunshot, these moms and dads will drop to their knees, yelling why, why running to hold their lifeless child. This is when the TRUE SUICIDE EPIDEMIC WILL COME. Politicians, you got it wrong, remember that when this starts to happen.
“The sister was not a mister, was this a surprise.
Intro by, Scott Newgent Story written by Donovan Cleckley When did we get to the place in society where we were judged about how marginalized we are and put on a scale to give us the appropriate concern that we weighed in at? Currently, stories like the one below are pushed off the desk of reporters as they sift through tragedies to get to one that resembles the "invisible," marginalization of a "trans-identifying youth?" The ALERT ALERT - Suicide ALERT, that is yelled from the mountains without any investigation, the hint of suicide or a manipulating remark stops all logic and paralyzes people to look deeper and see wider for a solution. Transgender youth is currently not marginalized; it's the opposite. Transgender youth now is promoted and protected by reporters that have no idea what they are talking about. Currently, we have transgender identifying youth being lifted on a platform and rewarded for saying, "I am a transgender youth." We are creating celebrities out of kids that have serious mental health issues. We are taking troubled kids and high lightening them, drugging them and surgically altering them, and no one has the common sense to say; "What is the FUCK are you doing to these poor kids? There is nothing to be celebrated, cheered, or pushed. Medical transition is brutal on the mind-body and soul, and NO one troubled should be anywhere near medical transitioning." What looks like love has turned into the Devil, and it's become a profit margin, and it leads to a heartbreaking story like the one below. Parents of these kids have been saying what I said above for years, and it's fallen on deaf ears. So, now transgender adults have taken the bullhorn because what is happening right now needs to STOP. We need to protect children and save the innocence of childhood. Some people need to transition to find peace medically, but NO child should decide this. Medical Transitioning is for an adult to determine about there own lives. It's time for the public to be shaken to wake up. Imagine Transgenders Adults shaking people and yelling, "Stop medically transitioning children, it's not right, and yes, it IS child abuse, stop it and stop it now." Scott The Simple Story of a Lesbian Girlhood For Sydney Wright, Whose Story Gives Me Strength to Fight “The sister was not a mister. Was this a surprise. It was. The conclusion came when there was no arrangement. All the time that there was a question there was a decision. Replacing a casual acquaintance with an ordinary daughter does not make a son.” – Gertrude Stein, Tender Buttons (1914) Introduction Few people will listen to our stories, it seems, whether those to whom we speak are right-wing or left-wing, I told her. And, even if they hear us, how do we know they will try to understand? Whether conservative or liberal, their mindsets seem fixed in place, frozen, in how they draw their conclusions before thinking, seeing only what they wish to see, rather than what sits before their eyes. Lacking the very compassion that they so demand from others, they lie to us, presenting their lies as our truths, their fantasy as our reality. And, then, as if further colonizing our pain for their pleasure, with us still finding ourselves somehow still subjected to their cruelty, they call us liars after they lied to us about our minds and our bodies. Not too long ago, I read a personal essay written by Sydney Wright, a gender nonconforming lesbian, who, like me, lives in the Deep South. She and I are around the same age; we are both college students. We have both struggled with being not only gender nonconforming people but also people exclusively attracted to members of our own sexes. Against tradition and prejudice, we live and love. Truly, we just finished surviving through our teenage years, during which we never felt fully accepted as ourselves living in our own bodies. We have lived through this society, one way or another, telling us that what we feel must make either our minds or our bodies wrong. We know what it feels like having our bodies and ourselves appropriated against our will, abused and exploited for profit, treated as mere collateral damage for somebody else’s ideology. No person’s pain should be somebody else’s source of profit, although, every single day, in varying ways, we see money made on the backs of others. We need to tell them to get off our backs. In Wright’s story, she shares about how, after feeling uncomfortable existing as a non-feminine, homosexual female, living in her own body, she felt as if it would be altogether more desirable to exist as a “heterosexual male.” Therefore, in Wright’s desperate state of mind, at the time, social and medical transitioning made sense to her. Because, in theory, becoming a “straight man,” instead of being a lesbian, could help make her feel possibly more “natural” and “normal” in her romantic and sexual relationships with other people of her own sex. After all, only men date women—certainly not two males and definitely not two females—or so we might be led to believe. However, transitioning did not improve Wright’s circumstances; in truth, it only intensified her mental anguish and almost killed her. Upon doctors treating her sense of discomfort with her own gender nonconformity as a medical condition, treatable by hormones and surgeries, Wright then self-identified as a “transgender man” for a year. She also took prescribed artificial testosterone during that time, before eventually desisting and then living her life, now, as a gender nonconforming lesbian. It is an ongoing, unending process to recover, or come to some sense of self-restoration, after the damage caused by otherwise unnecessary medical interventions like artificial hormone treatments and invasive surgical procedures. As we see in other cases involving desisting and detransitioning gender nonconforming females, Wright’s desire to live as a “straight man” instead of a lesbian grew from her internalized homophobia. However, because of the prevailing affirmative model for supposedly “helping” gender nonconforming youth, no doctor competently identified the signs or tried to investigate the symptoms further . Doctors simply went along with Wright thinking that she was “born in the wrong body.” They uncritically affirmed Wright’s belief without any critical investigation into the social circumstances of what appeared identifiable as “gender dysphoria.” “Different from the Other Girls” Wright begins her piece by telling us how, just two years ago, she was physically healthy and headed toward her high school graduation. Then, after taking prescribed cross-sex hormones, she, in her own words, “turned into an overweight, pre-diabetic nightmare of a transgender man.” Dosages of testosterone function in masculinizing the biologically and physiologically female-sexed body, allowing it to more closely approximate the appearance of a male body. Effects can include a deepening of the voice, an increase in the growth of body hair (including facial hair growth), clitoral growth, and male-pattern baldness. For the most part, the changes to the body, including the voice, become irreversible. In these cases, the female masculinizes her body through medical means to assume a more masculine appearance than formerly possible with clothing alone. Typically, in her desire to flee from her own femaleness, the female seeking transition also undergoes a cosmetic double mastectomy, most often referred to as “top surgery,” during which a surgeon removes flesh from her otherwise healthy breasts. Yet, her body itself remains biologically and physiologically female-sexed. That is, her physical sex remains the same as before, still sexually independent of her mental “gender identity,” only now medically modified by hormones and surgery. Thankfully, although Wright herself took prescribed cross-sex hormones, as do most other young women who seek transition, she did not undergo invasive cosmetic surgeries that could have been performed on her otherwise healthy female body in the profoundly misguided aim of distancing it as far from its femaleness as possible. However, the same cannot be said for other young gender nonconforming women who have undergone double mastectomies, only to find themselves honestly still as unhappy as before—perhaps even more anxious, depressed, and suicidal. Trauma stacked upon trauma, violence done to the body measure for measure, these young women find themselves, also surgically mutilated from an irreversible operation. This physical harm only adds to the emotional and mental harm already done. Like other gender nonconforming lesbians, Wright remembers having been “different from the other girls,” ever since girlhood. She describes how she “wore boy clothes” and “played with boy toys,” that she “was a classic tomboy.” As Wright aged, she realized her romantic and sexual attraction to the same sex, that is, she awakened to her lesbian desires. She mentions, “with the exception of one guy,” having “exclusively dated girls.” But she kept her homosexuality closeted. As Wright tells us, we would not have known that she was a lesbian from first sight, because she presented in a stereotypically feminine fashion, even if she did not necessarily prefer femininity for herself. Externally, Wright looked like other girls around her age, following the standard feminine presentation expected of them, although internally she felt different, wishing to escape from the straitjacket of the feminine. Like most women, she perhaps felt as if her femaleness meant that she needed to appear feminine. Being a stereotypically feminine female and feeling romantically and sexually attracted to other females did not bring Wright happiness. Still closeted, lost in her desperate longing for gay love without sadness, she felt a sense of shame, even while exclusively dating females like herself. She writes: “At the time, you wouldn’t have been able to tell I was gay just from looking at me. I had long, blond hair, wore makeup, and carried myself rather femininely. But in my head, I knew I was gay—though I was more of a self-loathing gay. The truth is, I didn’t like gays, and didn’t want to be associated with them. Yet there I was, dating only other girls.” “Gender Identity” as a Concept For any gender nonconforming, homosexual person, narratives of the “self-loathing gay,” whether for a lesbian or a gay man, reveal, perhaps more critically, the complexity of self development in relation to sexual orientation. I prefer saying “self development” instead of “gender identity development,” because the former encompasses more fully the self in relation to society. As Catharine A. MacKinnon observes in her essay, “Points against Postmodernism,” published in 2000: “Gender identity—the term introduced by Robert Stoller in 1964 to refer to the mental representation of the self as masculine or feminine—situates women’s problem in the wrong place. Our priority was gaining access to the reality of our collective experience in order to understand and change it for all of us in our own lifetimes.” Conceptually, “gender identity” naturalizes stereotypical masculinity and stereotypical femininity by implying that we arrive into the world hardwired to be either “cisgender” or “transgender.” Ironically, this opposition between “cisgender” and “transgender” is an oppositional binary worshipped as divine by the very same activists most vocal against binaries. Even the concept of “being nonbinary” itself relies on marking everyone else as “cisgender,” or “binary,” so that one can claim—not at all narcissistically, they (singular) insist—to be a special exception through their (singular) self-identification as “exceptional.” One’s own exceptional “gender fluidity” exists only by virtue of one projecting gender fixedness onto everyone else. While activists frame assuming someone else’s “gender identity” as an act of violence, they also assume other people’s “gender identities” all the time, since their own personal senses of self rely upon their assumptions about everyone else around them. The activists do plenty of projection. “Gender” becomes reinforced as a pre-social essence within the self, which, unsurprisingly, fixes masculinity and femininity as essential for males and females. As a clinical term, “gender identity development,” as I see it, makes us vulnerable to psychological reductionism, such that we neglect the social circumstances of the individual that remain overlooked in the resulting dysphoria. The narrative of children being “born in the wrong body,” which itself contradicts the “born this way” narrative, engages in the strategic erasure of the social, political, and sexual conditions that engender the individual and personal lived experiences observed as “gender dysphoria.” “Gender identity,” as a concept, relies upon the presumption that no society beyond the self exists to influence one’s self-concept. Also, once again ironically for the activists, their idea of “the authentic self,” in an astonishingly tragic reversal, becomes about achieving the greatest alienation from the self through artifice. It would be reasonable, then, for us to consider that the young person’s self-concept as a gender nonconforming homosexual can be distorted by the postmodern dogma of “gender identity.” Queerly enough, “gender identity,” as a concept, colonizes both sex and sexual orientation using the same stereotypes of masculinity and femininity to define “sex” that feminists have spent centuries combatting. An idealized fantasy in the individual psyche can become seemingly truer to the self than one’s own existence in social reality, which, it seems, explains the sense of self-alienation sometimes still felt post-transition as one felt pre-transition. Disconnection between the mind and the body can increase following transition, indicating the failure of a medical solution to fix “gender dysphoria” as not only an individual problem but also a social one. This distortion mistakenly leads one to think of oneself as “the opposite sex,” also then compelled into “heterosexuality,” when truly one is instead just gender nonconforming and homosexual. Whatever claims may be made about “gender identity” as a concept, in the many futile attempts to redeem it, it must be considered that we could simply discard this concept as we did the largely forgotten pseudoscience of phrenology. We need to reassess; we need to invent. We need new paradigms as we respond to new problems. “This Awful ‘Dyke,’ This Unnatural Lesbian” By age 18, Wright saw transgender men’s “success stories” via Instagram, as most gender nonconforming youth discover such stories through the internet. She writes that she related to these transgender men in how they “talked about how something had always ‘felt off’ with them.” What drew Wright’s attention, however, was that “they said people couldn’t tell they had been the opposite sex after their transition.” Seeing these transgender men, all seemingly finding a happy ending in a perceivably “heterosexual relationship” with a female, ignited Wright’s yearning for the perceived normalcy of “maleness.” She writes: “Here I was getting frowned upon for holding hands with my girlfriend in public, feeling like I’m constantly being judged by everyone, while [the transgender men] could date their same-sex significant other while looking like the opposite sex.” As we see, Wright’s longing only increased, because she saw transgender men holding their female partners’ hands in public, looking heteronormative, that is, “normal.” She passionately envied that very appearance of normalcy which could be found in her becoming a straight transgender man instead of remaining a gender nonconforming lesbian. As Wright says, she wanted to date her same-sex partner while “looking like the opposite sex,” thereby using transgenderism in desperation to avoid the stigma placed upon homosexuality by wearing the mask of heterosexuality. When Wright searched for resources on transgenderism, she could not find any about regret or about “the huge health issues that would come from making the transition.” Instead of discussing the complexity of gender identity development and the positive and negative aspects of socially and medically transitioning, the pieces almost exclusively focused on, as she discovered, “how brave the transition would make you, and how good it would be for you.” Such articles and stories almost universally present narratives of “if only,” marketed in an ideal packaging, rather than asking “what if,” without the fear of shattering a precious fantasy. Wright did not find critical points of view discussing the nuances of self development in gender nonconforming, homosexual youth. Nor is it even likely that she would find any readily available writing about the problems internalized homophobia and internalized misogyny can present for young people like her as they contemplate social and medical transitioning. Internalized homophobia and internalized misogyny remain consistently overlooked psychological and sociological factors driving gender nonconforming female youth to transition to achieve an idealized image of maleness seen as a flight from femaleness. Wright’s story, like the stories of other young women similar to her, brings attention to the psychosexual impact of misogyny and homophobia. “Every passing day, I saw myself as this awful ‘dyke,’ this unnatural lesbian,” she writes. “I hated that image and would much rather have been a guy dating girls.” Driven by her feelings of self-hatred, Wright Googled the process for her to transition from a homosexual female to a “heterosexual male.” “In reality, of course, I was not a boy, and hearing otherwise was the last thing I needed,” she reflects. “I was simply insecure about being tomboyish and a lesbian in public.” Throughout Wright’s story, which should be more widely read, she discusses how the public’s generally uncritical stance toward the treatment of gender nonconformity as a pathology harmed her far more than it helped her. In her own words, she was “miserable.” Beyond the straight lies about “the authentic self,” which can be used as a defense mechanism against the sting of regret, she “came to have even less self-confidence than before.” She almost died from physical health complications alone. Conclusion After reading Wright’s story, I also thought of so many other young women, just like her, who struggle every day to feel comfortable living in their own bodies. We know about these young women in our lives. They feel their discomfort, as if disconnected from the very women around them feeling a similar way. Wright’s story should not be seen as unusual, by any means. It is a far more common lived experience among females than we would like to believe. We prefer to pretend that no woman ever feels such self-hatred toward her own body that, if given the chance, when presented with the opportunity, she would buy a new one. Ironically, in this time of “self-love” and “self-care” in which we live, where any choice whatsoever can be framed as “feminist,” we still see so many female bodies going under the knife, dismembered and dissatisfied. For many of these young women, what we see generally categorized under the umbrella term “gender dysphoria” might very well be some varied combination of body dysmorphia, internalized homophobia, internalized misogyny, and dissociation arising as a defense mechanism in response to past experiences of trauma. More research must be done as to the specific circumstances driving women to seek new lives as “men.” It harms more than it helps for us to uphold the myth that people truly can be “born in the wrong body.” A person cannot be born in the wrong sexed body, any more than a person can be born into the wrong colored skin. Our favorite activities, specific behaviors, clothing selections, and object preferences do not make us either male or female. Nor does us being biologically and physiologically male-sexed or female-sexed define how we must exist in our maleness or femaleness. Defining one’s sex based on one’s “gender identity” does no better than defining one’s “gender identity” based on one’s sex; either way, masculinity and femininity become seen, wrongly, as the substance of maleness and femaleness. Beyond gender, we need humanness; we do not need “gender identities,” when we could simply have our individual personalities that make us all, each in ourselves, beautifully unique creatures in this expansive universe of ours. Treating gender nonconformity as a medical condition meriting a medical solution of prescribed hormones and surgical interventions does not undoubtedly “cure” the symptoms of “gender dysphoria.” Masculinizing the female body and feminizing the male body function as attempts to improve life for the person already deviating from feminine and masculine gendered expectations imposed upon females and males. I cannot think of anything more bizarrely antifeminist than us first denying social and cultural influences on girls and women and then pretending as if these people arrive into the world automatically hating their own female bodies. How gender hurts gender nonconforming lesbian girls and gay boys, its impact on all children, demands our further investigation. We delay investigating at not only at our own expense but also that of our children whose lives remain in our hands. Such an inquiry likely would expose the carelessness in us making a social and political problem into an individual and personal problem. In that coming inquiry, most likely, we would discover, also, that medical solutions at the individual level clearly cannot remedy social problems beyond the self, which, it seems, are the root cause of psychological distress related to “gender dysphoria.” Perhaps we would find, too, that egoism, far beyond overfed by uncritical validation, never can produce the happiness that we desire as human beings. Whether gender conforming or gender nonconforming, women collectively become socialized to accept that beauty hurts and that, to achieve their ideal of the beautiful, which is not truly even theirs, they must pay for it in not only their money but also their blood. Ideals of beauty can be terrorism, first in a psychological sense and then in a physiological one; for females, seeking either the masculine ideal or the feminine ideal results in female pain for another’s profit. Women everywhere feeling unhappy with their bodies, as a cross-cultural phenomenon, generates profits for industries that hold a vested interest in the unhappiness behind this conspicuous consumption. We know that, if every woman across the world woke up one day and felt comfortable living in her own body, then industries around the world would cease to exist. All of them would starve to death by the lack of profits harvested from female happiness as can be looted in excess from female unhappiness. When I wrote a short note to Wright, thanking her for her courage in sharing her story, I included a quote from Andrea Dworkin’s speech, “Lesbian Pride,” from her 1976 book Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics. Dworkin tells us: “As long as we have life and breath, no matter how dark the earth around us, that sun still burns, still shines. There is no today without it. There is no tomorrow without it. There was no yesterday without it. That light is within us—constant, warm, and healing. Remember it, sisters, in the dark times to come.” We might find life unlivable sometimes, as it is, but we must gather ourselves as best as we can and find communion with other people who encourage us toward true self-transcendence rather than self-destruction under the guise of paradise. I wrote my little note to Wright, because I wanted her to know that she was not alone as a gender nonconforming, homosexual person. These young women, like Wright and so many others, never should have felt isolated in facing this society before them in the first place. They never should have faced abuse and exploitation by themselves, feeling as if they had nowhere to turn. They needed a community to love them. Still, they need that community. For us to tell the truth about ourselves, we cannot fear the real possibility of facing the fractures in our fantasies and seeing our newfound authenticity as the very artifice meant to numb us to any true love for our bodies and ourselves. Years from now, when future generations reflect on this era, as they read stories like this one, I hope that they will find us, here, daring and defying as ever. Someday, perhaps soon, somebody will listen to our stories. She will hear us. She will try to understand us. At that time, when stories like ours become impossible to ignore anymore, as sound finally shatters the silence, the others will find their minds melting as ours once did. No longer will their false words about compassion hide the cruelty of their actions. Our truths will expose their lies. Our minds and our bodies will be restored and remembered within ourselves. For the first time, it was as if I truly spoke to myself. My sister was not a mister. This time, it was no surprise. “then I thought it time to reassess and perhaps invent.” – Andrea Dworkin, “the simple story of a lesbian girlhood,” the new womans broken heart (1980) Notes  See my other essay, “Do We Truly See Her?: Heterosexism, Homophobia, and Gender Dysphoria,” hyperlinked to “internalized homophobia” in this essay. Uncommon Ground Media kindly published my other work on October 28, 2019, when few, if any, publications even cared to respond to me at all—much less even consider my critical scholarly writing about “gender dysphoria.” As a writer, I have been dismissed countless times by otherwise “liberal” and “progressive” publications. All of these publications, it seems, have been terrorized into terrified silence. It speaks volumes of the state of journalism. Nevertheless, in my other essay, I argue for us to reconsider “gender dysphoria” as a social phenomenon intimately related to homophobia that can develop in gender nonconforming gay boys and lesbian girls, which can funnel otherwise unsuspecting homosexual children into social and medical transitioning. If driven by internalized homophobia, the social and medical transitioning of otherwise healthy gay boys and lesbian girls therefore functions as an extension of conversion therapy explicitly weaponized against homosexual people. “Conversion” is, after all, a conveniently overlooked synonym for “transition,” but few voices wish to say so in the face of all the ravenous industries profiting on the suffering of people desperate for relief. References Cleckley, Donovan. “Do We Truly See Her?: Heterosexism, Homophobia, and Gender Dysphoria.” Uncommon Ground Media. October 28, 2019. Dworkin, Andrea. “Lesbian Pride” (1975). Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics. 1976. —. “the simple story of a lesbian girlhood.” the new womans broken heart. 1980. Malone, William J., Wright, Colin M., Robertson, Julia D. “No Child Is Born in the Wrong Body.” The Velvet Chronicle. August 24, 2019. MacKinnon, Catharine A. “Points against Postmodernism.” Chicago-Kent Law Review. Vol. 75, No. 3. 2000. Stein, Gertrude. Tender Buttons. 1914. In Selected Writings of Gertrude Stein. Edited by Carl Van Vechten. 1990. Wright, Sydney. “I Spent a Year as a Trans Man. Doctors Failed Me at Every Turn.” The Daily Signal. October 7, 2019.
The Hybrid Athlete - A Transwoman Athlete Breaks It Down, by Eden Walker
Late 2015 I began writing to the IOC and IAAF following a rule change around transwomen in female sports. After careful analysis of the new rules, I understood how flawed they were in many places. These new rules would give many a chance to abuse and align them to benefit them and essentially allow for the legalization of cheating. My letters and emails ignored, but I was not surprised due to the fact it was the run-up to the Rio Olympics. During this time, it allowed me to contacted labs and scientists about sports testing, and I tried to get some answers to my questions. I was met with the same challenges and received replies like this, "Sorry, we're gearing up for Rio." Although I have never been a professional athlete, I have always been an active cyclist and spent time in the army reserve and mountain rescue groups. Both these organizations require above average performance, and it ignited a passion for athletic percentage training regarding the body and performance. My perspective is unique, with the fact that I am a post-operative transsexual woman, and I have gone through all of the requirements needed to participate in competitive women's sporting events. One thing that jumped out at me was transgender women only had to be on estrogen for 12 months. For me, that seemed utterly illogical to be sufficient to take away all the benefits I gained from puberty as a male. Being the numbers person I am, I went back to my statistics pre-transition and started to compare numbers. The day I began to transition, I was 86kg at 9% natural body fat, today my weight is 66kg and 16% body fat. The idea that estrogen and anti-androgens make you lose muscle is nonsense. I lost 20kg of lean mass by maintaining catabolic for five years with long zone two fasted cycling. The last thing your body wants to do is eat its protein source; you have to force it; this is difficult to make your body do. Hear me for a second; For me to bounce to female athletic numbers, I have to force myself to eat it's protein source to help me align with a bio-female's natural numbers. Me, as an athlete, I have to make a conscious decision to do this, and if I don't, I am at an advantage. Transwomen athletes are not going to do this! Why would they? They are not held accountable to these numbers, and the numbers that they are running create, in essence, a hybrid athlete. The numbers are no longer male due to the estrogen, but they are not female either. I would say it makes perfect methodology in the athletic sense to almost microdose. Find the minimum amount needed to work the blood test and a training program that helps retain the drop in fast-twitch muscle fiber quality. But if you are dirty, you can sprinkle HGH to help with that. The point of being a transwoman athlete is to try everything NOT to transition physically. More studies are needed to figure out how to remove "Hybrid," athletes, and level the playing field because, as it stands now, it's not. The average transwoman on a medical treatment pathway with proper endocrinological support will experience some muscle loss and a dip in muscle quality but not in significant amounts to offset the biological advantages of male puberty. A transwoman may experience a fluctuation in hematocrit values. Still, I would challenge that a drop significant enough to offset the advantage that males gain from puberty is not achieved. Bio-women have to manage their periods through the unhealthiest full-time consumption of estrogen to halt the cycle during the competitive season. Blood must be in the equation; the higher your Red Blood Cell count, the more oxygen is moved around to the places that need it. Thus, fending off a crippling lactic acid catastrophy. The lactic acid threshold is another measurable metric. The more oxygen you can deliver, the better and like a fire, the more oxygen you give the process, the better the results. A package of anti-androgens and estrogen will not change the fact that a body that's gone through male puberty has a bigger heart and lungs. Transwomen take in more O2 at the very beginning, and that allows a higher lactic acid threshold, which leads to better VO2 max performance. No longer at the level of a male athlete, but not at a female athlete either. I refer this as the "Hybrid," athlete. Let's think about contact sports. MMA, fighting games break down into weight classes. They do this because when it comes to two women in the ring, weight is a good gauge that gives an equal comparison. But we also need to keep in mind that fighters wear gloves, not to protect their opponent's head but to protect their hands. Both women have the same physiology. A transwoman has different physiology; we have a higher bone density. MMA involves the power to weigh; it's also for the safety of the fighters. If we consider how this bone density discrepancy endangers fighters, if we transfer this to the rugby pitch, the results would be a disaster. Women are going to start getting hurt, and as this trickles down are little girls are going to start getting hurt. It is allowing unfair advantages that endanger women, and it needs to be stopped.
The Hormone Health Crisis - Podcast Host - The Boyce of Reason
Dr. William Malone takes an interesting dive into medical transition and the effects it has on the Endocrinologist system. The thing that frightens me the most as an adult that has fully transitioned is how little we know about what transition does to a body. We literally are creating two new genders: XX Bodies run on Testosterone & XY Bodies run on Estrogen, and we have absolutely NO IDEA what that means to health, here and now as well as the long run. But, we are force-feeding our youth as if it was candy. Why?
Phalloplasty - Flagship Bottom FTM Surgery - Wild Wild West Of TransSexual Surgeries
"The Wild, Wild West of Surgery" Howdy Partner, so you think want a Phalloplasty? Deciding to get a Phalloplasty is a personal journey. The surgery itself is a hot button in the transgender community, and, I believe it will continue to be for quite some time. I'm not a Doctor just a patient, so these explanations, experiences as well as opinions will be with my limited knowledge from a clinical perspective. Some incidents are mine, some I have read in medical malpractices cases, and others are ones I listened to over coffee with friends. Excuse the explicit account, but I want to put the complexities and expectations into a realistic viewpoint, it would have benefited me when I started this journey. Lets start with a quick synopsis of the most popular FTM bottom surgeries and then finish with the ,"Flagship," the Phalloplasty. Metoidioplasty: This releases the clitoris: Like somehow It's being held down by forces unknown to us, quite comical because medically it just about covers how women have been treated since the beginning of time. Once the clitoris is released, the surgeon then wraps around the labia minora skin to create a little penis. A scrotoplasty can be designed to give an even more realistic atheistic, and a urethra lengthening can be added to provide the patient with the ability to pee while standing. The Metoidioplasty was developed in the '70s and is a far less evasive surgery than the Phalloplasty. You get a realistic-looking little penis and can stand to pee. But, let's face it penetration is most likely out of the question. With testosterone treatment, the trans man does grow a more extended and bigger clitoris, but having one grow big enough to penetrate is a rumor that I have not been able to clear up. I have had a couple of FTM patients tell me they can penetrate, but I always have questioned that in my mind. Pros: Cheaper $5,000-$20,000 depending on what you choose to do, and if you add on a urethra lengthening and a scrotum, less downtime, and fewer chances of complications. The surgery is not incredibly long, 2-5 hours, depending on what doctor or website you read. Cons: Just one, penetration…NOPE. Centurion: The Centurion was invented and performed by Dr. Peter Raphael in Dallas, Texas. I had my top surgery, and a couple of other things done by Dr. Raphael. This guy is an artist. He has an impressive background; his father was a surgeon and his mother a talented artist, and he kind of twists that into one in Plastic Surgery. If you walk by his office, sometimes you can catch him sculpting implants trying to figure out better ways to create the most realistic scrotum — great guy, sincere with helping people in the transgender community, careful and adept. Dr. Raphel is a little more costly but worth the investment. This procedure can also add urethra lengthening giving the patient the ability to pee and a scrotum. Pros: It's a Metoidioplasty on steroids, more prominent and more realistic. Cheaper than a Phalloplasty $8,000-$20,000 Cons: Again, sorry guys penetration is not really an option. Ok, so now let us get to the "Flagship," of female to male bottom surgery the……drum roll Please. Phalloplasty. If you research this bad boy online, you will think you hit the jackpot. Realistic penis, penetration, pee while standing an all-around winner winner chicken dinner. But things are not always what they seem to be, especially with marketing experts and the capricious powers of the internet, creating smoke and mirrors. Phalloplasty: In the 1940s Sir Harold Gilles was the first surgeon to take skin from another part of the body to create a penis, but the first Surgeons to try and tackle this colossal surgery didn't happen here in the USA until the 70s. With this surgery, the surgeon takes skin from two different sites on the body; one harvesting area is cut into deeper and, full recovery to the skin's initial appearance is never regained. The surgeon then creates a urethra lengthening procedure and takes the skin from the site where it is harvested and molds and stitches a penis. Once completed, the skin is re-attached and put back onto the body. Pros: Awwww, penetration, maybe? Cons: Wow. Well, first the surgery can take anywhere from 10-20 hours to complete the process you can have anywhere from 2-22 operations, depending on complications and complications are vast, numerous, and frequent. Since the skin is not able to become erect, the actual penis is long and cumbersome all the time. Recovery is brutal, not a, "Hey boss, I need a couple of weeks off to have a surgery." NOPE! This recovery is months and months if not years, depending on what type of complications you have. This is an expensive surgery $50,000 on the super low end up to hundreds of thousands of dollars. If your insurance does cover this surgery, make sure they will cover the additional operations to complete the surgery and all the complications that may arise. So, you still want to get a Phalloplasty; the idea of penetration is just something you have to have. Sure, I get it, and that's the reason I did it too, as well as my ex-wife wanting the evasive, "Penetration." I get it, the allurement is appealing, but the draw has the potential to change many things in your life that you need to be aware of. This Surgery guys is no joke. But, when I first was looking into Phalloplasty, I obsessively searched the internet, and the plethora of information that pops up is like Disneyland for the FTM. Oh, my God it's too good to be true like Cinderella married the FTM with a Huge Penis, and they lived happily ever after enjoying penetration after penetration. As you open different sites, a handful of surgeons become the most relevant and they look so esteemed with awards, dual residencies, and success after success. If fact, if you dive deep into investigations, you can find fictitious accolades and awards that boast the potential Surgeon's competencies. If you base your decision to have a Phalloplasty on what is on the internet, you are making an ignorant decision with lots of moving parts. Imagine yourself skipping down the yellow brick road just like Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. Do you recall who was behind the curtain? Do you? Now imagine deciding something as drastic as a Phalloplasty with a couple of clicks of a mouse. It's dangerous and downright insane. Be sure your Surgeon behind the curtain doesn't resemble the all Powerful Oz from the wizard of Oz. If you research some of these doctors you will find medical malpractice cases, but you must do your homework, merely checking doctors state board license is not enough. Malpractice cases can be hidden by settling or leaving the state and starting a new. If you investigate, you will find that the decision to get a Phalloplasty obliterated quite a few people's lives. The complication rate is enormous. Prior patients have been shattered physically, spiritual, and left in financial ruin. Having a big penis that you can use to penetrate with is not a fair trade for having to wear a colostomy bag for years or even the rest of your life, not in my estimation. Again, I'm not revealing anything about my experience; this was something I read about in a malpractice case. First, let us take the skin that needs to be removed to create the penis. You have three choices, the forearm, the thigh, and the upper back. To be able to use the leg for harvesting the patient needs to have a specific body to fat ratio for the procedure to work, this skin also must have a certain elasticity. Depending on the age and body fat of the patient, this might or might not be an option. The benefit to the thigh is the harvesting sight on the leg can be covered; this part of your body is never going to look the same; you need to understand this. You will look like a burn victim; it's just where you will look like you got burned. The con is that it's not the best site for sensation, it's not the gravest but you could or could not be able to orgasm. I'm not bullshitting you; this is your life you need to understand this stuff. The second place for harvesting skin is from the upper back. Again, this area can be covered, but the sensation is less. You're, odds of orgasming goes down even further. Who wants to go through all this pain, money, and suffering to have a penis that doesn't allow you to orgasm? The last area is the forearm, and the pros to this area are the sensation great, the bad news is that your arm will never look or work the same. For some reason, this information is almost nonexistent when you search the internet. The Surgeons web sites quickly skim through this as if it's no big deal. You can google images though, and these are realistic, look at these don't ignore these, these pictures of what you will be putting your arm through. My surgeon downplayed using the forearm site to the point I allowed myself to feel silly for being troubled about questioning whether or not I should use the forearm. In fact, as I look back, my surgeon was the pivotal point in my entire decision to get the Phalloplasty. Sure, my wife wanted it, but if I knew what I know now, I would have never made the decision to have a Phalloplasty. My surgeon had this arrogance and gave me such little time, it pushed me into the belief that I should believe him, and because of that, I did. It reminds me of a cult where the followers start to question things, but they look around, and everyone else is so obedient and faithful that they figure it's just them. Little do they know in the background the leader is shuffling people and rumors around, so they don't eventually meet up and figure out the leader is full of shit. The authenticity, for me, is that my arm is handicapped for the rest of my life. It hurts to type on the computer, I can't play sports, and my hand remains swollen years after the surgery and it, well it hurts all the time. Not the pulsing pain that ravages you, the, "Damn my hand hurts and I'm having a hard time holding a fork to eat," type of pain. Pain that gives you a glimpse into what your body might feel like as a 100-year-old man, but just in your arm. It's depressing I can't lie. Another predicament is nerve damage; the surgeon cuts so deep that nerve endings are exposed, and they may never close for the rest of your life. For me, I must wear a brace because a graze on my forearm skin sends me through the roof with shock. Another delicacy is that the skin I was speaking about is not all the skin that needs harvesting. Another area is used to gather more skin, usually the thigh, but it's not as deep, so the scar is quite unnoticeable. But, wow, talk about a road rash gone wild, hurts, hurts and hurts some more. The good news with this harvest sight is that the pain concedes in six weeks. Donor site information seemed to be leaped over and lessened by the websites for the surgeons and the surgeons themselves when you have the consultations. I encourage you to google pictures of the parts of the body and how they harvest the skin. Look at those images with both eyes open. If you are speaking with a surgeon and he or she minimizes the harvesting of skin, I would be worried because this is not a walk in the park and this can leave you damaged in many ways if you choose the wrong decision for yourself. Another predicament is nerve damage; the surgeon cuts so deep that nerve endings are exposed, and they may never close for the rest of your life. For me, I must wear a brace because a graze on my forearm skin sends me through the roof with shock. Are you prepared for the daily and the never-ending question you will get if you leave your arm exposed, "What happened to your arm question?" You can come up with your own response. But, I like to say, "Oh, I used the skin to create a penis. It doesn't work right because I was born with a vagina. But, my wife wanted me to be able to penetrate her and pee standing up. She didn't want me to embarrass her if I was ever in a gym locker with any of her friends or family. One always has to look after their reputation. Don't you agree? Recovery from the harvest area on the forearm is years, and from my experience, you never get the full use of your arm again so, if you choose your arm to be prepared to look like a burn victim and be ready to have a disabled forearm for life. So, you want to pee standing up? Who wouldn't really? What a convenience to pee standing up and if I had the choice, I would choose to pee standing up too. But think about this to go from a female urethra to a male urethra is tough. The urethra has to lengthen and run through the skin that is being used to create a penis. Creating something in surgery is much harder than cutting something off. When you create, you create the opportunity for complications, and the Phalloplasty is generating a ton of different things at once in one surgery. The Phalloplasty complication rate ranges between 39% - 95%. The complications vary depending on the length of the desired penis and urethra length. My on the street poll for complication rates with Phalloplasty is 100%. 100% of the people I have talked to and read about have had complications. If you google surgeons that have the Phalloplasty in their wheelhouse you will be pleasantly surprised by websites bolstering 100% success rates, limited explanations of complications and risks. Do not be fooled. My inquisition question would be to ask them, "at what cost?" If I told you, "Hey bud, ride your bike 10 miles to the next town but, the probability you are going to get hit by a car and maimed for life is between 39%-95%. Now, you may have up to a 95% chance of getting hit but, if you hang in there and endure having surgery up to 22 times, we guarantee that 100% you are going to pee standing up. Are you ducking nuts man? The most frequent complication of Phalloplasty urethra lengthening is Fistulas. Aw, fistulas those little inconveniences, inconsiderate small holes that develop between where the vagina was and the new path up to the bottom of the penis. These tiny holes cause significant problems and pain, my God the pain can be horrendous and cause serious infections as well as a detectable stench of urine that drains out of the holes throughout the day. Fistulas cause pain, swelling, incontinence, and the embarrassment of smelling like an infant or 100-year-old-man that needs to have their diaper changed. The problem is the stench will be coming from you, and you will have to learn how to carry diapers so that you can change them several times a day. Take that as a confidence boost, and an excellent intimacy motivator between you are your lover. Sexual spontaneity will most likely be nonexistence. Good news though, but you might be able to pee standing up, but your fistula will dribble urine on the floor. Last fistulas have a high probability of not being successful in surgery. If you do need additional operations, be prepared to continue the process several times to get the issue resolved. But, in the end, you may still have to get rid of the urethra lengthening all together and re-route it back to the same place it was when you started. Peeing will again require that you sit down. Yup, that's right peeing sitting down. I hope you can still reach orgasm because that would be a real bummer! Infection, hell yes! Imagine having your skin ripped and burned from your body and placed on tables where a doctor creates a male organ and re-attached to your opened body carcass. The area where this exposed organ is being held together by stitches and gauze will be exposed to the outside elements for weeks and weeks. The wounds that need to heal are located inches from where you defecate. If you do develop a fistula urine will meet the wound as well. You're afraid of touching a bathroom doorknob? Hell, honey hold your breath, be strong and if it gets to you to bad break out the Xanax and don't think about it. Better yet, THINK ABOUT IT and the risks. For weeks you will have what is called a super pubic tube, this is a tube that comes out of the side of your body and travels inside you and inserted into the bladder to allow your Phalloplasty to heal. Some surgeons are ok with removing it after 4-6 weeks, and some won't remove it for months and months. It's uncomfortable but in my opinion the least evasive part of the surgery. Enjoy, no middle of the night bathroom breaks. Sepsis, ever heard of this medical delight? With the evasiveness of this surgery, which is mildly covering the bases of the severity. I like to gauge the bench of a Phalloplasty as inhuman and grotesque. In any case, the odds of getting an infection are high. If you add a sepsis infection, it can knock a patient back light years in recovery. Sepsis feels like you went ten rounds with Mike Tyson in the day and the spar ends with Bruce Lee jumping in the ring adding a roundhouse kick that catapults you back into the bed that is made up of steel nails. The least amount of movement feels like you are moving a house with your bare hands. Psychologically you feel defeated with the idea of having to change the channel on TV with a remote; it's bad guys. Sleeping is something you can forget about with the irritable leg symptoms. You can look forward to the gaze of insomnia as it sets in that leaves you feeling hopeless and lost. Buck Angel Warns You About Dr. Curtis Crane Surgeons? So what's with the surgeons that get into this field? et's think about that. What part of society do we represent to people that are other than our friends and family? If we think about facts and not how we wished our culture was, what would that say to you? As transgender people, we are exposed to mockery, bigotry, loathing, judgment, and treated with the lowest form of virtue at times. How many times can you count where you have been out and overheard a joke about the transgender community only to watch the wine glasses click together with hilarity and approval. Hell, up until just recently we were the red-headed stepchild of the LGBT community. The last letter in the acronym of the least accepting society in the world. Even our kind, the LGBT community rejected us, derided us and only left a crack in the door for acceptance. It has only been since Jenner that have we have revered as even a species of the human race, and that was only 5 or 6 years ago. So, I ask you again, what surgeons go into this line of practice? Don't live in the fantasy Phalloplasty land. Let yourself be in denial about the kind of person you are married to, pick up the size 30 waist jeans and convincingly tell yourself these would fit you great. But, not with Phalloplasty and not with the surgeon you choose. The people in a part of society thought of less than is protected less. Why do you think serial killers with the longest careers target and kill indigents and prostitutes? Why? Because most people don't give a shit about them. I say most, because there are good people in the world, but far less that what you think. It’s human nature to act like Purana's feasting on a wounded fish in the water. That is why racism will never leave our world, it will always be there. Face it guys we are low hanging fruit to be mistreated, know that and understand you have to protect yourself because no one else will. That includes picking a competent Surgeon. You must ask yourself; Why would surgeons choose this type of surgery to perform? Don't live in the fantasy Phalloplasty land. Let yourself be in denial about the kind of person you are married to, pick up the size 30 waist jeans and convincingly tell yourself these would fit you great. But, not with Phalloplasty and not with the surgeon you choose. The people in a part of society thought of less than is protected less. Why do you think serial killers with the longest careers target and kill indigents and prostitutes? Why? Because most people don't give a shit about them. I say most, because there are good people in the world, but far less that what you think. It’s human nature to act like Purana's feasting on a wounded fish in the water. That is why racism will never leave our world, it will always be there. Face it guys we are low hanging fruit to be mistreated, know that and understand you have to protect yourself because no one else will. That includes picking a competent Surgeon. You must ask yourself; Why would surgeons choose this type of surgery to perform? A general surgeon averages $220,000 salary a year. A specialized Cardiologist almost doubles that at $512,000. A standard appendectomy in the USA cost $21,000. A Phalloplasty with a scrotum, urethra lengthening and pump averages $85,000-$200,000 and insurance are covering it now. Think of the complication revenues from Phalloplasty alone. Hell, it might even be worth it to skimp here or there in surgery because who's going to care it's just a transgender person and the additional revenue could be a plus. I believe you can figure out the reason why this field is selected. A surgeon that is not good at anything else can jump into this area of practice and make a fortune, be sought after, have articles written about them, and have a narcissistic personality fed like royalty. To perform this surgery, you don't have to have any specialized education other than being a general surgeon. I can't find any medical guidelines or regulations or checks and balances. It's like the wild, wild west of surgery. In my opinion and experience with going through this Surgery, I believe Phalloplasty surgery should be illegal until regulations, and roads are in place to assure the surgeons that are administering the operations adhere to a strict set of guidelines. Since it is still legal, and I do believe there are incredible and genuine surgeons like Dr. Marci Bowars and Dr. Peter Rapheal, you need to ask your possible surgeons questions. If your potential surgeon is arrogant, doesn't allow you to see additional pictures of the past patients, or denies a request to speak to previous patient move on to another that will. Ask questions like, "How many medical malpractice cases have you had filed against you," not ones that you have paid off, so they are not on your record. How many have been filed? Check the medical boards on your potential Surgeons license, review the superior courts where your doctor is practicing. Look up medical malpractice cases on the surgeon you are working with; read them. Ask your potential surgeon if they are creating the male organ themselves or if they pay another surgeon to do it. In business, we call that subcontracting and the responsibility for issues that arise tend to be ping-ponged back and forth between the Surgeons. Who is going to be in the room during the operation, and who are the Doctors? Ask if a specialized arm Surgeon will be doing the work that is needed to harvest the skin. How much medical malpractice insurance do you have? Do you know that surgeons don't have to carry medical malpractice insurance? Crazy huh? In the end, if you do choose on a Phalloplasty, be smart about it, you are worth it, at least I think you are. A person that endures the most obstacles in life can offer the most to a society. Being different affords tremendous obstacles and you have a lot to offer the world because of it. You are worth a great surgeon, you are worth a great life, you are worth all your hopes and dreams. Unfortunately, the vast amount of our society is not going to feel the same way, its just the facts. Protect yourself and love yourself and count on yourself, because in the end it’s all that you have.